The Talk

I just had "the talk" with my kids.

We had just been looking at Brodie's baby album before the three of us sat down for dinner (Joel must have known what was coming and decided to work late!)

The question that started it all: "What's that black thing hanging out of my belly button"... which led to a crude drawing (mine) of the mom's body... and things just kind of rolled on from there. I knew this conversation had to happen soon and was kind of hoping that some vaguely related question would be the opportunity to inform these guys before they heard a bunch of bad information on the playground. Grade 5/6 kids are pretty knowledgeable sometimes and Joel and I had had the "he'd better hear it from us first" conversation in the summer. No progress had been made yet so I jumped on this opportunity tonight.

Ammbilical cord led to uterus, which led to the Vagina monlogue.

"You know how boys have a penis... girls don't -- instead they have an opening called a vagina."
(This no-penis business was apparently news to Brodie.)
"The vagina kind of has two holes... one tiny one for pee and one for babies to come out of."
Dramatic pause...
Adam: "So kind of like a Super Penis?"

I lost it. All three of us were rolling on the floor laughing at that point... which made the rest of the conversation much more tolerable for all of us. There was only one point (during the actual "and that's what sex is" part) where Adam was trying to plug one ear with his shoulder while he ate his corn and muttered "it is so hard to eat right now"... he was a little uncomfortable.

All in all, I think it went well. My kids now have a basic knowledge of the facts, they know I'm/we're the ones to go to if they have a question at some point (and not their ill-informed friends). They know it's something special for people who are married (I only said that about 16 times) and that it's pretty cool how God made our bodies, how babies are such a miracle, and that this isn't topic for conversation amongst their friends, but that it's important they know the true scoop. I want to have boys who know enough about a woman's body so they can be respectful of them. I hope this first conversation planted that seed (no pun intended.)

I am however afraid that everytime I hear the word vagina I will think "super penis".
I hope I don't blurt it out at my next gyny appointment.